Don’t chase success, let it come to you!

Like many people at this time of year, I have spent some of the festive period reflecting on how the last twelve months have been for me and what I hope to achieve in the next twelve months.  I am acutely aware however that enjoying the present is just as important as reflecting on the past or planning for the future.

I will use MINI, MOMO and MAXI to explain the perils of the over indulgence or too much focus on anyone of the past, present or future.

MINI characters focus too much on the past. The problem with this is that you can pay too much attention to the things that you wish you had done and past regrets may hold you back. A common phrase for people with this affliction is, if only I had………then life would be so different. Equally destructive is resting on your laurels, accolades or achievements from the past whether this is 10, 15 even 20 years ago, it is time to step outside your comfort zone again and put a marker down for 2012.

MOMO characters spend too much time and emphasis on the now. If your motto is “life is for living and for living now,” you risk some of the negative traits that this type of thinking produces. “There is no point worrying about the past and the future will take care of itself,” they say. Unfortunately these people don’t learn from past mistakes and life has a habit of giving you the same problem time and time again until you fix it. A  MOMO will not put money away for their pension or even consider it until it is too late, I am fit and healthy now so why exercise or watch my diet they think until it is too late.

MAXI characters focus mainly on the future. They are continually telling you about how it will be for them when they make it but this is always in the future. All the hard work will be worth it in the end, not seeing the kids, the husband or wife is justified because one day in the future it will be alright. At 55 or 60 they are still saying the same things and life has overtaken them they never seem to reach the destination and the journey wasn’t that good.

MINI, MOMO, MAXI are extremes as you will be aware but help us to understand that there needs to be balance.

We need the past to ground us and to help us evaluate where we are coming from. We can establish what we are good at and the behaviours, circumstances even people that we need to avoid by reviewing the past.

We need to enjoy the present and take time to appreciate what we have in life. Life means taking care of what we have been gifted with, money and possessions, our bodies, our minds so that we can enjoy it in later life. Set standards for yourself, write a code of conduct so you can maximise and get the best out of your life.

By planning the future and writing down our vision we can influence the path that we will take avoiding mishaps, challenges and unnecessary heartache. If we don’t plan the journey we may find someone else or something else will plan it for us, we will forever be reacting to the circumstances that life presents never in a position to take control. Plan each day before you enter each day, each month before you enter each month you may encounter unexpected situations or events but having a plan will ensure you are better equipped to deal with them.

I conclude with the words of the clinical psychologist Viktor E. Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning” and three tasks for you to carry out.

“Don’t aim at success- the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself…”

 

  1. MINI I want you to ensure that you learn from the past. How you have fared in the five pillars for a happy life. Finance, Health (includes spiritual health), Career, Relationships, Contribution. What do you need to work on to ensure that you are happy with your progress in each of these areas? So ensure that you include amongst the three goals and the three standards elements that cover all the five pillars.
  2. MOMO. I want you to live and enjoy the present by maximising each moment. What are the standards that you will live by for 2012? What are you not going to accept anymore? Write it down and create your code of conduct.
  3. MAXI I want you to write down your top three goals for this year , break them down, set deadlines and milestones and have reminders ever where. Dare to dream as you carry out the exercise ensuring that you can also see how these goals fit in with your longer term goals.

I wish you all the best for 2012 remember Maximise the Moment